


Bet U Wish U Had Me Back

by AutumnDreams



Series: Bet U Wish U Had Me Back [1]
Category: Spooks | MI-5
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Cheating, F/M, Fucking, Gen, Romance, Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-27
Updated: 2014-05-27
Packaged: 2018-01-26 17:10:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1695992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutumnDreams/pseuds/AutumnDreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not turning to look, he waited a beat before speaking. "I'm not going to wait forever." Stopping in the doorway, she glanced back at him, her shoulders drooping as she spoke towards the floor. "I know." And then she was gone. Forehead resting against the wall, Harry pounded his fist against the drywall, wondering how things had gone so wrong. More pointless smut.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_**AN: Again with the pointless smut that wouldn't have happened on the show.** _

* * *

"This...can't...happen...again." she panted, legs wrapped tightly around his waist, fingers clutching at his jacket covered shoulders.

"I...know." he answered between thrusts, her body pressed between his and the office wall. "Won't...happen...again."

"Mmm." she agreed, ankles pressing into his clenching cheeks.

Face resting against her neck, Harry pressed hot, open mouthed kisses along her raging pulse.

"Oh God." Ruth whimpered, her head falling back into the wall as she pushed her pelvis back against his. At the friction created against her clit, she felt her muscles clenching around him, moaning loudly as her back arched, chest pressing against his. " _God."_

Her inner muscles contract around his erection, Harry thrust harder and faster, his hands resting against the wall on either side of her head. Feeling the tell-tale tingling of his nearing orgasm, he turned his face into her shoulder, mouthing her name silently against her blouse.

Panting to catch his breath, he felt her trembling legs move from around his waist, his flaccid penis sliding free as she slowly lowered her feet to the floor. Hands sliding around down his shoulders, they came to rest against his chest, fingers curling into the white fabric of his shirt.

Fingers of his left hand moving to grip her hip, Harry leaned back until he was looking down at her. With his right hand, he slowly caressed her cheek as she lifted her eyes and smiled shyly at him, in contrast to what they had just done.

Smiling back, he brushed his lips softly against hers. Thumb following the contour of her upper lip, he watched her a moment before speaking.

"Have dinner with me?"

"I...I..." Hand moving to wrap around his wrist, she stared at him with wide eyes.

"Please?"

"I...can't." she whispered, trembling as she pushed him away. "We can't."

With that, she slid from between him and the wall, and walked slowly towards the door only pausing by his desk to gather the files she'd brought in ten minutes before.

Not turning to look, he waited a beat before speaking. "I'm not going to wait forever."

Stopping in the doorway, she glanced back at him, her shoulders drooping as she spoke towards the floor. "I know."

And then she was gone. Forehead resting against the wall, Harry pounded his fist against the drywall, wondering how things had gone so wrong.

* * *

Things progressed.

Life moved on.

Neither mentioned that night in his office though they didn't forget.

Ruth tried.

She joined a choir.

Took a cooking class at a local school.

Met some nice, middle-class men. Went on a few first dates that never went any further.

And dreamed of Harry at night.

Harry didn't.

Try to forget that is.

Nothing could erase the feeling of her body pressed against his, her inner walls clenching him so perfectly.

Her fingers clutching at his shoulders as she'd moaned her release.

But he did move on.

Albeit reluctantly.

In fact, it hadn't been planned.

It'd just happened.

One night, three months after their tryst in his office, he met a woman at some function thrown by the PM.

A nice woman who'd engaged him in conversation about the failing politics of those currently in office as she'd stood in the corner of the room. He'd turned in surprise and found himself staring into a pair of deep, brown eyes.

She was tall.

Unlike Ruth.

With long, auburn hair and pale skin.

And while shy; like Ruth; she didn't let it stop her from debating with him the merits of a full reorganization of Parliament. Or from sharing her views on how the lives of so many in Britain; actually the World; could be improved if more people just gave a damn.

He'd asked her to dinner the next night.

That had been six months before.

They were still seeing one another. Almost exclusively.

As he stood in his office straightening the bow tie of his dinner suit, Harry found himself watching as Ruth wove her way across the Grid, her black coat wrapped tightly around her small frame. This...evening...with the French and Italian delegations on Foreign Trade was not something he was looking forward too. When the DG had approached him about gathering information, he'd wanted to shrug it off.

Rubbing elbows with pompous asses was not to his liking.

Especially when Victoria was returning that afternoon from a two week business trip to Austria. They'd talked on the phone infrequently during that time; her schedule filled with meeting between other corporate lawyers and business men.

It was the longest they'd gone without seeing or speaking to one another since their tenth date. He'd rather be at her flat than attending this thing.

His lips pressed against the skin of her neck, his hands slowly working their way under the front of her shirt as they stood in the kitchen, bodies pressed together as she tried to make dinner.

Tried being the operative word.

"Harry?"

Looking up at the soft voice, Harry smiled at the woman standing in his doorway and gestured her in.

"What is it Ruth?"

Shifting from foot to foot, she looked at him nervously.

"I was wondering if you could help me with something?"

"Of course. What is it?"

Turning to close and lock the door, Ruth crossed the office and shut the blinds before turning to look at him, her cheeks beet red.

"This dress...that I have to wear tonight. I..." she paused, skin flushing more as she lowered her eyes slightly. "I can't get it to zip up. I think it's stuck." Eyes lifting to his, she bit her lower lip. "And I didn't know who else to ask for help."

"Not a problem." Hands beckoning her close, he watched as she opened the coat and lowered it to a chair. "Let me see what I can do for you."

"Tha...thank you." she said quietly, crossing to stand in front of him. Turning her back to him, she gathered her hair in one hand and held it out of his way.

"Hmmm." he said, turning his attention to the task at hand.

Or tried to.

It was difficult what with the large expanse of pale, smooth skin currently exposed to him.

Skin he'd never seen before.

Warm skin he found as his finger brushed against her lower back.

Soft skin.

Fingers gently tugging at material twisted in the zipper, he found his eyes drawn to her slender neck. Eyes closing, he breathed in the scent of citrus as he finally got the zip free.

One hand holding her hip, the other slowly sliding the metal up the length of her back, he breathed softly, slowly. Finally he reached the top and he paused, eyes still closed as he spoke softly.

"There you go."

Head turned slightly to the side, Ruth didn't move. "Thank you."

"Mmm."

Both stood there for long minutes, neither moving.

Eyes opening, Harry stared at her nape.

Watched the gentle rise and fall of her shoulders as she breathed.

Wondered what she tasted like.

Leaning forward, his nose brushing her hair, he gave in. Lips opening against her skin, he let the hand holding the zip slide slowly over her shoulder as his tongue darted out.

Licked her.

Heading falling forward, Ruth let her hair fall over her shoulder as her hands dropped to the top of the desk. Eyes closing, she felt his mouth trail down her neck, over her shoulder; hot, open mouthed kisses being left in its wake.

Tongue and teeth tracing the black silk of her dress, Harry moved slowly, his eyes closing as he nipped a trail to her neck. Head turning, he found her pulse beating steadily and set his lips around it, sucking gently.

"Harry." His name came out as a sigh, her chin dropping to her chest.

Lips trailing to her ear, he nipped it before running his tongue around it. Breath hot against her, he opened his eyes.

"Tell me to stop."

Mouth wrapping around her ear, he sucked.

"I can't."

Teeth grasping cartilage, he pulled.

"Tell me to stop." he said again, his lips brushing delicate skin.

"Don't stop."

With a low growl, Harry pressed his body into hers as his mouth trailed across her neck, her shoulders. Hands gripping her hips, he pressed his growing erection against her buttocks.

"If you don't tell me to stop, I'm going to fuck you."

Hands sliding against wood, she pressed back against him.

"I want you too."

"Want me to what?" he asked, grinding against her, one hand leaving her hip to pull the material of her dress up.

"What you said." Back arching, she pressed her bum harder against his erection.

Hand sliding along the warm skin of her inner thigh, Harry stifled a groan as he came in contact with her wet folds.

No knickers. _Fuck._

Fingers gliding back and forth, lightly, he pressed his mouth to her ear again.

"What do you want me to do to you Ruth?"

Legs parting, she moaned at the feeling of his fingers on her.

"Fuck me."

Hands dropping from her body, he backed away slightly. Ruth whimpered slightly at the loss of contact and turned her head, finally opening her eyes to look at him.

Undoing his belt and trousers, Harry pushed them to the floor as he met her eyes. Leaning forward, he captured her lips in his for a moment, his hands moving to pull up her dress. Material bunched around her waist, he gripped his penis with one hand and slid it between her legs, letting her wetness coat him.

Mouth falling away from his, Ruth moaned as she leaned forward on her hands, the feeling of his firmness between her legs heaven.

Penis still rubbing back and forth against her clitoris, Harry used his other hand to push her forward over the top of his desk. Using his knee, he spread her legs wider before gripping her hip again and guiding himself into her warm heat.

Pausing as she adjusted to his length, he looked down at where they were joined, his breath catching for a moment at the sight. Feeling her muscles finally relax, he gripped her hips in both hands and withdrew until only his tip remained inside.

Whimpering at the loss, Ruth tried to push back but found herself held in place firmly by his hands.

"No moving."

Pushing into her slightly, he heard her sigh in content before he pulled out again. With small movements, he thrust forward only to pull out again.

Over and over.

With each withdrawal, he felt her hips trying to move under his fingers and he gripped harder, holding her in place.

"Stop trying to move." he told her back, nails digging into her skin through the material. " _I'm_ fucking _you_ , not the other way around."

Pulling out completely, he held himself still and watched.

"Please." she begged, hands pressing against the wood as she tried to push back onto him again.

Leaning forward, he let himself slide against her hot folds and stifled a groan. She was so wet - just dripping for him - and he wanted nothing more than to bury himself in her. But he couldn't. Not yet.

"Please what?"

Feeling him moving over her, Ruth moaned.

"Do you want this?" he asked, pressing his hips against her so his erection rubbed her length. "Because you could have had it any time you wanted. Only you said no."

Pulling away from her completely, he heard her whimper.

"What do you want Ruth?" Leaning into her, he pushed against her again. "Tell me what you want."

"You." she whispered, her body tightening. "I want you."

"Why?" He pulled away again.

"I...do."

"Why?" He tried again, pressing against her.

She whimpered at the feeling and spread her legs further.

Pushing the tip of his erection into her, he paused.

"Is this all you want?"

"No." she gasped.

"Tell me what you want." Hips thrusting forward, he pushed into her partially before pulling out again. "Do you want this?"

"Please stop." she whispered. "Please stop teasing me."

"Then tell me what you want." Pushing his tip into her again, he paused, his fingers bruising her.

"I want..." she whispered, gasping at the feeling.

Pushing in a little further, he paused and leaned over her, growling in her ear. "Tell me."

"I want you to love me." she mumbled into the desk.

With a groan, Harry pushed himself fully into her, his hands sliding up her sides.

Hands gripping the edge of the desk, Ruth moaned at the feeling and pushed herself back against him. He was stretching her. Fully. Completely.

Hands moving to cover hers, Harry pushed her into his desk, his weight covering her as his mouth moved to her ear. "I already do."

With that declaration, he started moving, his pelvis pushing her into the desk with each thrust.

Turning her head towards his, Ruth sought his mouth. Tongues gliding against each other, they kissed, their bodies moving together.

Fingers sliding between hers, Harry gripped her tightly as he pushed into her harder. Feeling her inner walls start to contract around him and mouth ripping away from hers, he gasped roughly as he pulled almost out and thrust into her again.

Body shaking between his and the desk, Ruth felt her climax overtake her and moaned, her fingers gripping the front edge tightly as she held on. With a few more thrusts, Harry felt his own climax over take him.

Bodies still joined, Harry fell against her, his lips seeking hers blindly in a languish kiss.

* * *

_**AN: One-shot? More? Reviews are lovely. They make me smile. Please leave one. =0)** _

_**For those interested in the community, you can check it out by pasting the following after the Facebook address. /groups/328415943934013/** _

_**I'm off to take a nice, cold shower before work.** _


	2. Chapter 2

_**AN: Alright so I had planned this to be a one shot but obviously I had to continue at the request of so many and so you're all responsible for the way this story has turned in a rather unexpected direction. Hope you enjoy ... and that you'll leave a review. I'm blown away by the 16 I received for the first chapter; maybe an equal number for this offering? =0)** _

* * *

**Three Days Later**

"Why do you always go and complicate things?"

Arms wrapped loosely around her slumbering form, Harry didn't wait for an answer.

He wouldn't get one. Not right now at least.

Ruth had passed out after their last round of love making, curling herself against his side, her head buried under his arm.

"Six months ago we would have been easy. Now..." He paused a moment, wondering what now really was.

Now was two woman that he wanted to be with; one he loved, one he cared a great deal for.

One gave herself freely to him and without hesitance; the other fainthearted and fearful of others.

Both wanted him and he wanted both.

Therein lie the problem.

Or was it?

They didn't know each other, these two women of his.

Victoria lived in West London, worked all over the globe as a Corporate Lawyer for an International Conglomerate. What free time she had was spent attending the theatre and Opera or shopping the High Street with a friend.

Ruth lived in the North of London. She spent most of her working hours locked away in the relative safety of Thames House. When she wasn't working or at home with her cats, she was at Choir practice which also happened to be in North London; or at the cooking classes she'd suddenly decided to take. Again North London.

They'd never run into each other. Never have to spend time with him in a location where the other might be.

Except maybe his house.

And that was easy enough to manage. Ruth was still hesitant about others knowing about the change in their relationship. It'd be a simple matter of convincing her it'd be easier for him to slip over to hers rather than the other way around. Victoria - well, they tended to wind up at his only part of the time. More likely they found themselves at hers too because of his unpredictable work schedule.

Even their time spent together could be managed. Already Victoria was used to only seeing him two or three times a week and maybe a weekend here and there. And that was alright with her. Plus she was out of town for weeks at a time. Ruth had choir two nights a week and every other Saturday plus a cooking class one evening. Two evenings plus part of a weekend with Ruth as well as work and maybe even a lunch or two; three evenings with Victoria during a good week and one weekend a month - possibly two.

The scheduling even worked.

This would work.

He could continue seeing Victoria and explore where this relationship with Ruth was going. If things went well with Ruth and she stopped running, well, he could end things with Victoria later. But if Ruth couldn't handle the pressure and all that came with loving him, he wouldn't have lost another good woman.

It was settled.

He'd see both for awhile; at least until things played one way or another with Ruth.

* * *

**One Month Later**

Glass of wine in his hand, Harry leaned against the counter and watched as Victoria cracked the last egg into the well of flour currently resting on the cutting board. Eyes following her hands as she started to knead the dough, he smiled as she continued to tell him about her latest trip.

"So we're all sitting in the conference room and Anthony; that little shit I told you about who keeps trying to get into my trousers; looks at the man representing Benin's Assembly for Cotton exportation and says 'Je veux te baiser?' thinking he was asking for the loo when he was telling the minister he wanted to fuck him. Or something along those lines at least."

Chuckling, Harry took a sip of his wine before setting the glass down and moving forward to stand behind her. Placing his hands on either side of the counter, he leaned closer, his lips brushing along the back of her neck before coming to rest against her ear. "And why would he think that?"

"Mmm. I may have told him that was how to say it when he asked earlier." Standing on her tip toes, Victoria pushed all her weight into the dough before dropping back to let her body rest against his. "I can't help it if he doesn't know French and I mis-understood him when he asked at our breakfast strategy meeting."

Pressing himself into her back, he grinned as his hand slipped under the front of her shirt to rest against her stomach. "And it had nothing to do with what happened in Prague last week?"

"No, not at all." Keeping her back to him, she smiled down at the ball of dough, a warmth filling her at how well Harry knew her.

Spinning her round, he slid his hand up along her back, letting it stop and fiddle with the clasp of her bra a moment. "Somehow I don't believe you're telling the truth."

Grinning, Victoria slid a hand along his chest, fingers sliding between the buttons as she slowly worked them free. "Oh but I am. I would never intentionally do anything to cause embarrassment to a fellow colleague."

"I don't believe you." he said, voice going lower as he leaned towards her. Mouthing hovering above hers, he flicked his fingers together, undoing the clasp. "I might have to interrogate you."

Pulling his shirt free, she smoothed her hands along the plane of his chest, careful not to pull on any of the fine, blonde hairs. As she reached his shoulders, she let her arms continue in the air, feeling him divest of her shirt and bra. Dropping her arms, she wrapped them around his neck and leaned against him, her breasts rubbing against the skin of his chest. "Really? That might be interesting seeing as I'm trained in various methods of cross examination and deflection."

"Hmm. We'll see if you're as good as you think you are." Dropping his head, Harry caught her lips with his, hands sliding under the waist of her track pants and knickers. Quickly pushing them to the floor, he lifted her free of them and set her on the counter.

"The dough." she mumbled as his lips traveled down her jaw. "It's dinner."

"Bugger the dough. I have something else in mind and it's not pasta." Mouth moving lower, he took one of her nipples in his mouth and sucked on it hard, causing her to moan and drop her hands to the counter to support herself.

He continued to lick and suck on her breasts as her hands moved from the counter to his buckle. Undoing his belt and trousers, she pushed them away from his hips, working them down his legs with her feet when she could no longer reach with her arms. Sliding to the edge of the counter, she opened her legs wide and leaned down, her tongue running along the length of his ear as she mumbled "Je veux te baiser."

Biting down on her nipple, Harry pulled his head back and listened as she moaned against him. "Je veux vas te faire encule s'il vous plait."

Letting go of her breast, he lifted his head and grinned at her, his hands sliding up to grip her legs tightly. "Really? You want me to fuck you?"

"Oui."

Pulling her to him, Harry thrust into her, stilling a moment as he waited for her to adjust to his length. Feeling her legs wrap tightly around him, he started rocking slowly into her. Picking his speed up, he watched as she leaned her head back, bracing herself more on her hands against the counter.

Breasts thrust forward, they bounced with each thrust. Leaning his head down, Harry wrapped his lips around a nipple again, sucking and biting as their groins rubbed together. Feeling her inner walls clench around him in climax, Harry bit down as he thrust harder into her, his own orgasm overcome him.

Holding still a moment, he felt her hands move to run through his hair as his lips gently pressed soothing kisses against the skin where his teeth had bruised.

* * *

**The Next Night**

Sliding into the last row, Harry looked around the crowded church, his eyes drawn to the front as he tried to spot Ruth.

It was her first concert since they'd officially gotten together and he'd almost missed it due to an overzealous Director General going on and on about his newest granddaughter. Having slipped free some thirty minutes before, his driver had broken a few speed laws to ensure Harry had arrived in time to see her perform.

Spotting her on a lower riser, he sat in a chair and undid his coat, sighing at finally getting to relax his aching muscles. In theory, his plan to see both woman was good but in hindsight, he should have realized that he wasn't as young as he used to be and the daily sex was beginning to wear on him. It didn't help matters that he had alternating nights with each woman, so there was no chance for just a cuddle and some sleep.

But he wouldn't complain.

As the music began, he leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, letting the song overtake him. It was only some time later as the audience broke into a round of applause that he realized he'd fallen asleep.

Eyes snapping open, he blinked a few times, adjusting himself to the light as others began to move.

Slowly getting to his feet, he gathered his coat and moved to the front of the room. Spotting Ruth talking with two other woman, he smiled at her apparent joy at having performed the music. Taking his time in crossing to her, he paused by her side as the conversation ended and then leaned down to kiss her softly.

"You were wonderful."

Arm sliding around his neck, she held him close as she laughed quietly. "Yes, because you could hear me over the rest of the choir."

"I always hear you above everyone else." Fighting back a yawn, he tightened his arm around her and held her close.

Fingers brushing through the back of his hair, she smiled at him. "And why are you so tired? You had the night to yourself last night, plenty of time for sleep."

Freezing for a moment, he watched her but saw the humor in her eyes and realized she didn't know about Victoria; that she was just joking. Lips brushing against hers, he forced a smile onto his face before answering.

"That might be true but Scarlett spent the night howling at the neighbors damned cat. I barely got any sleep."

"Poor baby." she whispered as she leaned into him. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Love me?" he answered softly.

"I do." she said, grinning as she brushed her lips against his one final time before stepping back. Reaching for his hand, she gripped it in his and tugged him towards the door. "Come on sleepy head. Let's go find something for dinner before heading to yours for a cuddle and some sleep."

Eyes lighting as she read his earlier thoughts, he followed her through the crowd.

* * *

**One Month Later**

"I'm going to miss you." Ruth whispered, her head resting against the dressing gown covering Harry's chest as they laid together on the couch.

"It's only four days." he said softly, his fingers tangling in her hair as he held her close. "I'll be back before you know it."

"I know." she said with a sigh, her hand sliding to rest against the beat of his heart. "But it's the first time since we've gotten together that you've had to go away."

"Hmm. That's true. And I'll miss you every moment of the time."

Lifting her head, she met his gaze and smiled weakly. "Really?"

"Of course." he said, frowning at her look. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Never mind." she said softly as she rested her head against his chest again.

"No. Something's the matter." Pulling gently on her hair, he lifted her eyes to his. "What is it?"

"Nothing. Just me being silly." Leaning forward, she brushed her mouth against his.

"Ruth." he said, warning filling his voice.

"It's nothing. Just...you've barely made love to me this past month; or when you've had, it felt almost like a duty, that you'd resigned yourself to it." Voice trailing, she lowered her eyes to his chest. "And with you going away so suddenly...I'm just being silly. That's all. Thinking you're getting bored with me already."

"Hey." Fingers sliding to gently grip her chin, Harry lifted her eyes to his again. "I love you. And I'm not getting bored with you. I promise. I've just been a bit tired with everything going on and getting the Grid ready for this weekend so I can go and see Catherine."

"I told you it was silly."

"Not silly. Truthful." Lips brushing against hers, he smiled. "And I'm glad you told me instead of burying it away. We need to be honest with one another if this relationship is going to work."

Sighing happily, Ruth pressed her mouth against his. Hand sliding between the material of his robe, she slowly began caressing the skin of his chest.

Tongue sliding into her mouth, Harry wrapped his arms around her tightly, turning her on her side. As they kissed slowly, he worked the knot holding her dressing gown closed open. Parting the material, his slid his hands up and down her body, slowly savoring the feel of her skin against his.

"Part your legs." he mumbled against her mouth.

"What?" dazed, she opened her eyes and met his.

"Open your legs for me."

Still confused, she did what he said only to gasp as he slid himself between them, his erection sliding into her slowly. Sighing at the feeling of him filling her, Ruth wrapped her upper leg around his thigh, squeezing against him as he slowly thrust into her.

Hand sliding to her waist, Harry continued to kiss her lovingly as they rocked together; barely moving; building themselves up to climax. Feeling the warmth of his semen spilling deep inside her, Ruth sighed again, curling herself into his chest as he held her close.

Muscles loose, Harry held her to him, his penis still nestled inside of her as his eyes drifted closed. As he drifted towards sleep, he felt her lips press gently against his heart and smiled.

"When I get home, let's talk about moving some of my things in, so I don't have to go home each evening." he mumbled.

Eyes opening, Ruth looked at him in quiet shock. "Do you mean it?" she asked quietly.

"Hmm. Yes."

Grinning, she leaned forward to kiss his chin gently before curling her face into his neck.

* * *

**The Next Day**

Glasses on to shade his eyes from the sun, Harry walked slowly through The Botanical Conservatory in Brest, France; his hand lightly gripping Victoria's. It was the second day of their four day weekend away and already he could feel the stress of the past months slipping away.

It'd been years since he'd gone away for any reason other than work and he'd nearly forgotten the simple pleasure of waking slowly in the morning to the sun rather than his alarm.

Or in the case of this morning, the feeling of Victoria's mouth wrapped firmly around the head of his penis.

That had been something he'd not soon forget.

_The feeling of moist heat running along his length had pulled him from sleep. As his eyes had blinked open, he'd looked around the room a moment in confusion before lifting the duvet, meeting brown eyes as she slowly ran her tongue along his length._

_Reaching the head, she'd lifted her head, wrapping her mouth around him firmly and pushing herself down until he pushed against the back of her throat. Sucking, she'd pulled her head up, creating a vacuum along his length. As his tip reached her teeth, she nipped softly and slid her tongue along the head of his penis before repeating her movements._

_Hands moving to her hair, Harry held her in place, gently thrusting against her as he became more aroused. Head falling back into the pillow, he groaned as her hand gently cupped his scrotum, squeezing in time with each bob of her head. Fingers gripping her hair tightly, he thrust one last time into her mouth before coming. Breathing deep, he'd loosened his grip and pulled her up to him, kissing her slowly and deeply._

As they passed through a green house, Harry smiled and squeezed her hand a moment. Before this trip, he'd been thinking of slowly distancing himself from Victoria, of setting a break-up in motion. His talk with Ruth the night before they left had made him realize how difficult it was getting to continue the schedule of two women. And as Ruth still wasn't showing any signs of running, he wanted to make that work.

But here. Now. In France with Victoria, he wondered how he could do that. The time he spent with her made him feel in a way he couldn't with Ruth; free. Even now, after over two months together, they were still hiding their relationship from those on the Grid.

A weekend like this; away together; could never happen. Or a walk through the Tate back in London.

They'd rarely left their homes aside from some quiet dinners out or to nip by the shop because of her fear.

He wanted this in his life. The freedom to enjoy spending time with a woman. To not fear that she'd run if someone they knew saw them.

Which just meant things had to continue as is.

* * *

**Meanwhile back on the Grid**

The ringing of the phone brought Ruth out of the mundane reading of the current threat report. Hand snatching out, she lifted the receiver to her ear, a smile on her face as she hoped it was Harry calling.

"Ruth Evershed." she said, spinning in her chair away from the others.

"Ruth? I'm sorry to bother you. You don't know me but I'm Catherine Townsend, Harry Pearce's daughter?"

"Ooof course." she stumbled out, smile leaving her face as fear settled in her stomach. What had happened to Harry that Catherine was calling her? Oh God. Please don't let him be in hospital. Breathing deeply, she continued. "What's wrong?"

"It's my dad. I can't reach him. The last time I visited, he said if I needed him and he didn't answer his office or home phone, to call you; that you'd know how to get in touch. I've been trying to reach him all morning but he's not answering, which means he's probably in a meeting. I wouldn't be calling if it wasn't an emergency but...it's Graham. He's been in an accident and is in hospital. We're here with him. In London. My mum and I. But it doesn't look good and the doctors said I should try and get anyone else who'd want to be here to see him."

Hand gripping the phone tightly, Ruth sat in silence as the words the other woman were saying, her stomach dropping at the realization that Harry had lied to her.

He wasn't off visiting his daughter in France.

By the sounds of it, she was here in London and had no idea where he was.

He'd lied to her.

So where was he? And with who?

"Ruth, are you there?"

"Of course." she said, her voice shaking as she focused once again on the conversation at hand. Phone cradled on her shoulder, she picked up a pen. "Give me your number and I'll ring him on his mobile, have him call you."

"Oh, thank you." Catherine said, relief filling her voice as she rattled off a number.

"Right, 073. Got it. I'll get in touch with him as soon as we hang up and hopefully he'll call you soon."

"Thank you Ruth. You're as wonderful as he says."

"Mmm. It's no problem." Pausing a moment, she gripped the phone in her hand and spoke before the other woman could hang up. "And Catherine, could you give me a call, let me know how Graham is?"

"Of course."

As the phone clicked, Ruth slowly lowered it back to the cradle. Staring at it, she fought back the tears building in her eyes. Losing it on the Grid wouldn't get anything done. And Harry's children needed him. Picking up the phone, she dialed the number for his mobile. Waiting in silence as it rang, she wondered what she'd say to him when he answered.

But it didn't matter as his voice mail clicked on. Listening to his voice across the lines, she quietly hung up before it got to the message part.

* * *

Two hours later, Ruth picked up the phone for the fourth time. Harry still hadn't answered and Catherine had said that while Graham was improving slightly, the doctors still recommended loved ones coming to see him.

Dialing the familiar number, Ruth listened as it rang, not really expecting it to be answered. As she prepared to lower it, a giggle followed by a breathy voice came across the line.

"Harry Pearce's phone." A moment of silence as Ruth sat there in shock. "Hello? Is anyone there?"

Eyes closing, Ruth lowered the phone to the desk. Breathing deeply, she felt her heart break as the full realization that Harry was with another woman set in.

She sat there for a few minutes, eyes closed, as the sounds of the Grid went on around her. Then, opening her eyes, she picked up her phone and dialed Catherine. Explaining that she hadn't been able to reach the woman's father, she gave her his mobile number and hung up.

* * *

"Dad finally. I've been trying to reach you for the past ten hours."

"Catherine? What's wrong?" Sitting on the edge of the bed in his boxers, Harry smiled at Victoria as she slowly moved from under the sheets and into the bathroom. Turning his attention back to his daughter, he listened to her a moment before adding. "And how'd you get this number?"

"Ruth gave it to me. She tried calling you earlier for me but didn't have any luck. After about two hours, she gave up and called me back with the number."

Stomach dropping, Harry gripped the phone tighter in his hand. Ruth knew he'd lied about being with his daughter. Oh God.

His mind was pulled away from that as Catherine told him the news about his son. Relief soon filled him as she told him the worst was over; and that while still in danger; he should recover. They talked a few minutes more before Catherine bid him goodnight. Hanging up the phone, Harry let it drop to his knee a moment before picking it up and dialing.

God.

Ruth.

What was he going to say to her?

What was she thinking?

As the phone rang, he knew it was highly unlikely she'd answer. Not now.

_Shit_. he thought to himself as he waited for the voicemail to pick up.

"Harry."

The monotone voice that filtered over the line shocked him, causing him to momentarily drop the phone. Scrambling for it, he picked it up and held it to his ear again.

"Ruth, don't hang up."

"Why would I do that?"

Again with the monotone voice.

"Please. Let me explain. I need to ex..."

Ruth interrupted him, her voice weak. "Just answer me one question. How long have you been seeing her?"

"Ruth please..."

"Just answer the question Harry."

Voice low, he answered. "Eight months."

"I see. I thi..."

Before she could continue, a voice called out from the bathroom.

"Harry - the bath's ready."

Turning in shock, he looked at the woman standing naked in the door to the bathroom as he registered the click of Ruth hanging up over the line.

* * *

_**AN: Alright, so I'm not really sure where this should go from here and I've decided to let you, the reader decide. There's a few options A) Harry stays with Victoria as Ruth won't listen to his explanation, B) Harry breaks up with Victoria but Ruth won't listen to his explanation, C) Harry breaks up with Victoria and eventually Ruth comes around, D) something else entirely that you can supply.** _

_**Let me know which you think!** _

_**Jenn xx** _


	3. Chapter 3

He's been awake most of the night, fingers tracing a trail along the curve of her spine, just thinking about what he had to do. The dream had spooked him in a sense; the thought that it could come true twisting his stomach. It was possible. His past with women was not the best. He _had_ slept with more than one woman at a time, stringing them along for his own sexual gratification and gain. But he was younger then, more stupid. Less of the man he was today.

It was true, for a few brief minutes the night before, he had considered seeing both. Starting a relationship with Ruth while continuing to see Victoria on nights that Ruth was busy; at least until Ruth was fully comfortable with the idea of them. But almost as soon as the thought had crossed his mind, he had squashed it.

Ruth was different. She meant more to him than the other woman of his past had. He didn't _want_ to screw up the relationship; he wanted it to last. She was it; the one woman he could see spending the rest of his days with. And to play with her like that would ruin any chance they had of a long term, honest relationship.

Even more than that, he liked Victoria. Like Ruth, she was a decent person, and she deserved more than being someone's second best. Which meant that he had to end things with her before he could move any further with Ruth.

Ruth.

Just the name brought a smile to his face as he thought about the night before.

_It was quiet in the car; both staring out their respective windows as they journeyed through the city. Neither had planned for the night to turn out like this but nor could they be disappointed. As the car stopped in front of his house, Harry turned to his companion, his fingers brushing across the skin of her palm softly._

_"If you've changed your mind, it's alright. I'll have Mike drop you at home."_

_Turning from the window, Ruth smiled at him across the darkness. "I've not changed my mind."_

_He nods, his fingers wrapping around her hand as the door opens. With a gentle squeeze, he lets it go and slides from the car. Walking around the back, he reaches for her door and opens it, his hand reaching to her elbow. With a quiet goodnight, they watch as the driver gets back in the car and drives off, leaving them standing in the street._

_Watching her a moment, Harry smiles, brushing the hair from her face. "Come in?"_

_Nodding, she bites her lower lip and follows him up the walk. As he unlocks the door, she stands at his back, her hands wringing together._

_She's nervous. This is a new step for them. One she knows they can't come back from. Following him in the darkened foyer, she waits as he resets the alarm. As the system beeps, Harry turns back to her, his eyes barely visible in the darkness. For a long moment, he just stares, his eyes taking her in; and then he reaches out, his fingers gliding over the buttons of her long coat, undoing them. Gently, he pushes the fabric off her shoulders, watching as it falls to her feet. Stepping forward, he leans down, his lips pressing against hers._

_They kiss for awhile, his tongue sliding against hers; his hands running up and down the sides of her body while hers curl in the curls at his nape. The chiming of a clock in the living room has him pulling back, smiling as his fingers brush her cheek._

_"Come upstairs?" he asks softly, thumb brushing her upper lip._

_"You're asking? Not telling?"_

_Lips brushing against hers again, he nods. "I'm asking."_

_Teeth worrying at her lower lip, she pauses a moment before nodding her agreement._

_With a knowing smile, he takes her hand and leads her up the stairs, his thumb rubbing across the skin of her hand in sensual motions. As they reach him room, he stops and turns on the side light. Turning to face her, his hands slide into her hair as he leans down, lips catching hers in another kiss._

_They've done hard and fast against his office wall._

_They've done fucking on his desk._

_It's time for slow love making in his bed._

_What he hopes will one day be their bed; if he plays his cards right._

_Mouths moving against the others, they slowly undress. Hands sliding up her back to hold her against him, Harry turns, lowering her to the mattress, his body pressing into hers as he follows her. Lifting himself on his arms, stomachs pressed together, groins rubbing; he smiles at her and shifts his hips forward. She gasps as he stretches her slightly, the tip of his penis just sliding into her moist heat. Then he pushes forward, filling her completely._

_She gasps, her back arching at his sudden movement. He stops a minute, his eyes boring into hers as he waits. Feeling her muscles relax around him, he leans down, arm sliding under her back as his lips capture hers._

_Slowly they move together, their bodies pushing and pulling against the other as they work themselves up to release. He gasps her name, mouth against her shoulder as he comes deep within her. Her nails are digging into his shoulders as she pulls him closer, her lips against his ear as she moans 'Harry'._

_Spent, he falls to her side, his arms rolling her with him._

_"Sleep." he manages to get out, his eyes already closing as she curls into him._

She's stirring now, her body pressing against his as she arches her back. Turning his head, he watches as she moves sleepy eyes from his chest up to his face.

"Hi." she says, her voice still thick with sleep.

"Good morning."

Pressing her lips against his chest, she kisses her way to his lips. Mouths melding, she leans on him a moment before resting her chin on his. "What time is it?"

"Early."

"Why are you awake then?"

"Thinking."

Ruth pauses, the smile on her face slipping as she processes that one word. Before she says anything, he continues.

"We need to talk."

Hands pushing against his shoulders, she makes to sit up. Feeling this, Harry tightens his grip, hands splaying between her shoulder blades.

She stops moving a moment, her eyes meeting his. "Please, Harry." She sees the seriousness there and feels her stomach drop. "Please, if you're going to say this can't happen again, let me go."

Tangling his hands in her hair, he keeps her in place. 'It can't. Not right now."

Ruth twists, trying to work herself free, but he's unrelenting in his grip.

"Please Ruth, you need to let me explain."

"What is there to explain? Can't is easy enough to understand."

"Ruth..."

Hands sliding to his chest, she pushes herself backwards.

"Ruth, it can't happen. Not yet. Not while I'm with someone else."

She stops momentarily, her eyes going wide as she stares at him. Then, as his words fully register in her mind, she pushes against his chest harder. As she manages to get free of his grip, she rolls off the bed, tears forming in her eyes. Back to him, he reaches for her dress, stepping into it as she looks around for her bra and pants.

Watching her pull the fabric up, Harry jumps from the bed, striding naked to her. Grabbing her arm, he tries to stop her.

"God, how could I have been so stupid? It was all about the fuck, wasn't it?"

"No!" His grip slacks as he realizes this isn't going how he planned.

Spying her bra hanging off the window sill, she pulls her arm free of his and reaches for it. Lowering her dress, she pushes it on as she continues. "Let me guess, she's away and you had an itch? And what better way to scratch it than trusty old Ruth."

Grabbing her arm, Harry spins her around to face him, anger building as she continues. "You're right. I had a need - I needed you! Yet you were too bloody scared to take a chance. On us. More worried about what others would think instead of following your head." Fingers gripping her arm, he pulled her closer. "So yes, I tried to fill that need. Tried to move on. Have a life outside of work. Except it didn't work. I still want you."

Letting go of her arm, he stares into her eyes a moment before turning. Crossing to the bed, he sits, slumped, as he realizes how messed up things had gotten so fast. "I shouldn't have said anything. Lied to you and her and saw both of you."

Rubbing her arm, Ruth stares as his back, confused at his changing emotions, angry at his sleeping with her while seeing someone else, broken at the thought of him with another woman. She stands there, just watching, until she can't take it anymore. Than crossing the room, she settles next to him on the bed, arm brushing his.

"Why didn't you? she asks quietly, eyes staring at the floor.

He doesn't answer at first, his mind trying to find an answer that doesn't make things worse. Finally, he settles on the one thing he thinks will make her understand - the truth.

"Because I love you. Don't ask me when or even how, but I do. And if there's ever going to be a chance at us having something more than we already are, I have to be honest. With myself and with you."

They sit quietly for awhile, arms pressed together. It's been a strange morning, so many thoughts and feeling being thrown around that they're both off kilter. Finally it's Ruth moves.

Standing, she moves in front of him and lies her hand on his shoulder. He looks up, his eyes meeting hers.

"Wh..." swallowing, she pauses a moment, gathering her thoughts before continuing. "When you're sure things are over with this other woman, and you're ready for us, ask me to dinner. But..." she continues, her fingers digging into his flesh, "make sure you're positive it's what you want. Because I won't be the other woman and I won't be cheated on."

He nods, his eyes moving down as he wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her to him, his head lying against her stomach. Hesitantly, she lifts her hands, sliding them along the back of his hair. They stand like that for some time, neither moving as they savor the feeling of the other. Eventually, she steps back, her hand sliding around to cup his cheek.

As his eyes rise to meet hers, she leans down and gently kisses him, her lips moving over his before she steps back. With a final glance at him, she turns and leaves the room, quietly making her way down the stairs.

* * *

**Three months later**

"We'll be in place tomorrow afternoon for Adam to move in. Everyone take the rest of the day and get some rest. It's going to be a long rest of the week."

Looking around at his team, Harry notes they're all nodding. As they stand and leave, he reaches out to grip Ruth's arm. She stops, her eyes meeting his as the others file out.

"Close the door." he says softly, releasing his grip on her arm.

She nods, crossing the distance to slide the door shut. As she turns around, he finds him standing behind her, having moved silently when her back was turned. Leaning back into the wood, she lifts her head to his. He steps close, his hand reaching up to brush the hair from her face.

"Harry." she asks, hesitance in her voice.

"You said when things were over with Victoria; when I was sure I was ready for us; to ask you for dinner."

"I did."

"You said I had to be sure it's what I wanted."

"And is it?"

Leaning down, lips hovering over hers, he smiled. "It is. Have dinner with me? Tonight? I know the perfect place."

* * *

_**AN: I don't know how happy I am with the overall ending but I hope it was alright and you'll leave one last review letting me know what you think.** _


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